cluttering the net since 2001


Thursday, May. 16, 2002
I have very little for my efforts to be friends with certain depressed souls. I have tried in vain to be enough to make people smile and feel that life was worth living. The bottom line is if you play with razor blades, no one can take them from you. You will find new ones somehow.

“My heart pumps vitrol.”

That’s what Josh said of himself in my guestbook…I deleted it. I think he meant to say vitriol. And I have no need for that in my life. No need for anyone’s acceptance on a stupid ass public diary. I am me and I like me and if I want to rant and rave and act a lunatic, this is mine and I will do it. And if my diary is one big pile of shit like he said, then so be it. I’m writing for me. SO it’s my shit and isn’t that what we’re all doing on diaryland? Writing our own shit down?

I think my days of chatting are simply…over. I know that JEM is more trouble than he’s worth. The thing is if he just took the good about who he is and spent more time on it, the bad would get smaller and smaller until the good was big enough to sustain his own happiness.

Some people like to swim in their own misery until they convince you to jump in the Dead Sea with them so they’re not alone. When you refuse to swim they get mad. I found a towel and I’m dry again. And I won’t change my mind tomorrow. Enough is enough already.

I’m so over letting other people, people I have never even met, dump their sludge on me. I’m going to read my book. Tangible…real….ahhhh


vitriol - bitterly abusive feeling or expression.
10:37 p.m. ::
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