all.....all in all it's all the same all the time

Everything in my life happens twice, like rewind replay and re-live. I say it won't go that way, that I will somehow stop the ebb and flow. I never do.

All I wanted was to spend a nice evening with my new family. I say one thing out of turn and we're spiraling beyond all. And then...just to slap me twice as hard, the past comes strolling along taunting me.

The look on his small face. The horror, the uncomfortable feeling all over his face like a hurricane crashing into a summer picnic.

All I want is warm arms, someone not so taken to being offended by my remarks meant to mean nothing. All I want is less dissapointment, less anger, less frustration.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I'm on my fast way to having a miserable time.

Ack....