even though...
Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2003
Thing is�people have noticed and I am happy. I have a thousand things to not be happy about right now. Some of which are
1. husband wants to have a shared custody of �Bucky� where he spends two weeks in one place and two weeks in the other. (2 bedrooms, 2 lives�2�) and I say this idea SUCKS ass.
2. I miss Bucky so much and feel right now like a failure as a parent for not making that marriage work so he had a real family like I myself never had.
3. I�m not sure what I want to pursue with the rest of my life, but I feel this deep seeded need to build something big for myself and this inner feeling is nagging me.
4. I got a phone call last night from James and it seemed to me that he was trying to dump a guilt trip on me, but funny enough he didn�t stop �gaming� while having the conversation with me.
5. Ridicules anger ridden conversations with husband suck. He has no remorse for any of the shit he did to me. None! And I hate him for it.
6. They found out that I�m living there and are making me fill out an application to be included on the lease, if I am declined I have to pay an extra $50 on my part of the rent for the next 5 months. :-((
But I am happy because�
1. Last night Rick made me dinner�lasagna. And it was great.
2. We stopped that stupid weirdo �What? What?� thing last night long enough to have a nice time. :-)
3. Rick dug through a box of my books and decided to read one. :-) I don�t know why this makes me so happy but it does.
4. He also decided to read my novel in the works.
5. I woke up and he reached for me and hugged me and�
So..yeah I�m happy�even though�
-PoeticaL
