cluttering the net since 2001


Thursday, Oct. 24, 2002
Iím scared. Iím scared that if I trust anything, believe in anythingÖ.like every time in the past I wonít just lose anything. I will lose everything. Itís one thing to have someone take things away from you, itís quite another to drop the ball and break it all yourself. Iím over here dribbling and I wonít stop. Thereís one net, one shot, one hoop to go and all I hear is the hollow thunking of the ball on the hard ground. I want to be the star, not just a point in the game.


Iíve been stranded inside my dreams
the nightmares came rolling in and then
Thunder was screaming at the lightening
While each violent drop pelted at the rain
I am frozen at the ledge never taking flight
always fearing the free falling
Who will catch me just before I strike midnight?
Inside the confusion I found a truth
A chance that fights for me to keep calling
Inside the measure of the something
There is one thing I now see
Let me in to help you
thatís what you have freely said to me
Iím now jumping from my safe and little ledge
I am the balancing act on my fear
Instead of horror being all I see
I am the star of this circus, the
Sharp clarity of the threatening edge

"I cannot breathe for fear of failing,
I cannot see for all these bottles full
of nervous words and jars of lame excusesĒ
-Bottles and Jars-Furs
10:58 p.m. ::
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