PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

life...gets in the way

Thursday, Aug. 25, 2005
Today at work my favorite female coworker and I were talking about how we “met the man” in our lives. There are some uncanny similarities to our stories. While telling my “how I met Rick” story and listening to her story the warm realization that my story was a nice one hit me hard. There was….boy along the edge of the room hiding behind his hat, his eyes hard to follow, shy boy, boy refusing to abandon me, boy buys girl dinner, and boy holds girls hand. Today I remembered our shoes on the fast food restaurant floor, the way we were already standing very close together, and how natural it felt and yet how I noticed it and felt warm inside of it. I remember how during those hours I suddenly did not have a care in the world. It was surreal and blissful and I really recall how safe I felt. I felt understood and peaceful and good. I remember playing with my straw and trying to appear seductive. I recall how he said he wanted a relationship; he didn’t want to play games. I remember the relief swelling to the edge of my throat. I was joyful and calm and at that time it felt like decades since I felt that ok with a moment. As I write this now I remember the months living with him and his brother and how it all felt so different from my former life. I recall all of it now and smile. I recall fondly now what I thought were the hard adjustment months then. Life is a circular madness, isn’t it? Wanting and not having and then adjusting to having and wanting to not lose it again.


When I told her my story and listened to her frantically recall her story, I realized something and I blurted it out. “You were smiling the entire time you told me about meeting him.” She said, “hey so were you.” We walked back into the office after our popcorn run and I think we were both much calmer and rejoined our work domain happy.


I wanted to rush home and thank Rick for my happy recollections of how we came to be. And then like normal life hit full force. The list of to do’s a mile long.


1. place order for wedding invitations, since kid never got hyped about drawing a
picture for the kinko’s plan
2. look for car insurance bill so it can be paid
3. do same with car payment bill
4. find out the cable we were getting was done so incorrectly and if we want all
those channels we need to order and pay for them….put notice in purse
to call cable company tomorrow. (ask them why I never get their bill)
5. try to come up with plan for wedding shoes….shoes…barefeet…sandals ugh does
it matter, wedding on beaches…shoes or no shoes…what about the after vows
affair 6. must find vows and written materials and try to finalize choices….where are those
papers?
7. must clean up paperwork in this place
8. check online course..read for the tenth time in 3 days the syllabus to try to see
what has been done, needs done…isn’t done…got done twice
9. answer kiddo’s email 10. heat up pasta with something….what is that? Mmm tastes good but man made it
and he’s in bed and can’t ask what it was that I just ate
11. put shoes away…new rule trying to follow to avoid shoe store on kitchen floor
12. take shower, clean tattoo….it’s the itchy days….apply lotion…wait apply more
13. check for umbrella….Katrina is on her way…..gahhhh Our learning center in Ft
Lauderdale was closed due to the weather today. We’ll probably have to
work tomorrow since there are no classes on Friday nights.

Point being….life life interrupts our hearts sometimes. More often than I would like. Rick was tired and went to bed early tonight. I can’t say I blame him. He’s on this schedule of getting up really early and working rather late. I work 9 a.m. to 6:15 p.m. Mon – Thur and then 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday. Sometimes I wish we both worked the same exact schedule, but that’s never happened and we’re more close to that than we’ve ever been since we met. We used to work exact opposite sorts of schedules. At least we’re both off on Sunday together.

I hope someday he reads what I said above here…because I’m sure life might prevent me from adequately thanking him for the wonderful memories.
11:20 p.m. ::
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