PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

't' came front

Sunday, Sept. 15, 2002
t came front, and I was there…..this is only about 1/4 of everything...if even that...


me: you're so fucking smart i don’t know what you can possibly see in me
(he showed me a technical file he's been compiling titled "Tactical Voice Network")

‘t’: whats with the profanity

‘t’: ?

me: high on pain pills..remember?

‘t’: ;-(

me: sorry

‘t’: ok

‘t’: :-)

me: plus lots of pent up anger

me: i haven't really talked to anyone for a long time

‘t’: sorry about that

me: nothing for you to be sorry about

‘t’: sure..I just take off for days at a time...no message nothing

me: its part of the deal

‘t’: :-(

me: i'm not angry or upset with you

me: if i was i wouldn't talk to you

me: type to you

me: whatever lol

‘t’: ok

me: you don’t have to worry about me doing that to you

‘t’: really

me: and you don't have to be sorry

me: yeah really

me: this is just the way things are with you

me: i don't take it personally

‘t’: cool

me: i'm not saying i like it or that its easy

me: negative on both

me: but i accept it

‘t’: ok

me: i like you and because of that i don't want you to hesitate to want to speak to me thinking i'm just gonna be all bent out of shape over something stupid...when you're front i want it to be a good thing...not a "where the heck were you?" argument wasting time

‘t’: right

me: when you're gone i miss you

‘t’: ;-)

me: so why in the world would i want to yell at you when you're not gone

‘t’: right

me: its like all that missing you wanting you...for nothing

me: its like that would tell you what? that i hate you and am angry about you all the time

me: that's just not true

‘t’: ok

me: i still love you , i worry about you and i miss you all the time

me: when you come front that's what you should always know

‘t’: :-)

me: i refuse to get mad about what you do

‘t’: so what have I done that I deserve to meet someone like you?

me: its a fact, a fact i knew a long time ago

me: i dont' know ‘t’ I could ask you the same thing

‘t’: hmpft

me: i know two things that override everything else

me: that are bigger than missing you

me: bigger than the circumstances

me: bigger than getting angry over

me: i love you and i love you

‘t’: :-)

‘t’: I love you

me: i hope so

me: because if you do ...i'm the luckiest girl alive

notice when he says he has to go….I turn all nasty after the earlier promise….grr

me: can i ask you something?

‘t’: :-)

‘t’: shoot

me: are you happy ‘t’?

‘t’: me..

‘t’: of course

me: that's all I care about

‘t’: what soldier can ask for anything else....

‘t’: fighting a war..

‘t’: doing his job..

me: i know baby

me: i know

‘t’: beautiful woman back in FL

‘t’: what else is there?

me: awwww

‘t’: oh yeah...

‘t’: high explosives too

‘t’: :-)

me: teeeheee

me: my laptop warrior

me: i love you ‘t’

‘t’: OMG

me: i just want you to be happy

me: omg what?

‘t’: did I tell you about the Cyber war we have been fighting here?

me: no

‘t’: ok...

‘t’: it is probably classified...

‘t’: and they are coming to arrest me right now

‘t’: oh well

‘t’: see you in about 5-10

me: lol

me: hey

me: stop that

‘t’: what?

me: they're not coming to arrest you

‘t’: nope....

‘t’: <---is the cyber police

me: whew

me: dont' say stupid stuff like that to me

me: i worry enough

‘t’: LOL

‘t’: ok

me: stop laughing at me

‘t’: but it is work time...

me: you want me to stop worrying about you?

me: caring about you?

me: i could disappear

‘t’: I love you and you have fun on the track ok

‘t’: nope

‘t’: nope

‘t’: nope

me: well I'd have to do it for a long long time before you even realized it

‘t’: whatever girlfriend

‘t’: <---has to work and pee

me: you say whatever girlfriend like you think i can't disappear

‘t’: I could disappear too ....

‘t’: wait..

‘t’: I have at times..

‘t’: nevermind

‘t’: :-)

me: no i mean like for real forever

‘t’: do you want to do that?

me: no

‘t’: then dont

‘t’: no problem

me: i just wonder if you have a clue how hard it is

me: like i'm dealing with all of this doing the best i can and i wonder if it even matters to you

‘t’: of course it matters

me: ok then...i'm gonna go put my high butt to bed and stop being nasty just cause you're leaving and i already miss you...ok baby

‘t’: ok

me: its just hard

‘t’: i know

me: go pee

me: go work

‘t’: in that order?

‘t’: :-)

‘t’: ok

me: and....make sure you come front

me: because i love you ‘t’

‘t’: don’t I always?

‘t’: I love you too

me: yes....

me: you do

‘t’: bye Princess

‘t’: g'night

me: bye bye baby....be safe

5:17 a.m. ::
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