PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

i broke the 10K mark

Tuesday, Nov. 05, 2002
6 inch cut, outer thigh, Percocet, crutches, winces, all for the sake of a test to determine whether or not he’s having difficulty walking for a reason. Seems odd. I picked him up from the hospital and he actually drove even though they did this shit to his right leg. He drove with his left leg. I followed behind him closely in my car. It’s an odd thing when you have so many mixed feelings. I am not a heartless person and its not fun seeing anyone in physical pain. But I… um yeah..

Tonight I made steak and parsley potatoes and corn. I didn’t eat the potatoes..carbs..*groan*. Then I did some laundry, and mostly tried to clean up around the house. I got home earlier today and tried to make the best of the extra time.

Got a phone call from the only soul that I’ve confided any part of my novel to. He read it and had a few great things to offer. I appreciate the feedback. I sat down and started to type away while my potatoes were cooking. I am in a zone as far as my writing goes now. I have a schedule and as long as I preplan my nights writing I am just cruising along. I don’t know how good it all is, but I do have a story, a plot, a purpose and a theme. And this feels great. Just that dialogue thing is driving me nuts. I hope I can find a writing class solely on dialogue or buy a book based on that. If you’re reading and know of one, let me know.

Tonight Bucky went and played with the neighbors and one of the little boys shot him “nearly” in the eye with a yellow plastic bee bee from a toy gun. FUCKING CRIPES! He comes into the house crying holding his eye. Every parents worst nightmare. Kid holding eye. Crying. It was the worst. I got an ice pack for his eye. So there he is sitting next to his Daddy both of them holding ice and consoling each other trying not to hurt each other’s boo boo’s. I felt guilty. Guilty for being so damned healthy and fine. I actually said, “someone punch me, give me a boo boo so I am not left out.” At least they laughed. It’s so amazing to me even still how much we take for granted. The simple act of walking…what a gift. To travel freely on one’s on recognizance from one place to another. Point A to Point B in nearly 0 seconds in terms of walking across one room. Watch a person with his disorder walk yesterday and you’ll think twice. Watch him walk after this 6-inch gash and you’ll think about how lucky you are to walk and you’ll never stop thinking about it.

Last night I had a chat with vilemiasma and this part of it has just remained with me.

RendLifeAsunder: alot of what you do makes me wish that
Kwisty2k: wish what?
RendLifeAsunder: i could do what you can, like, word wise
Kwisty2k: i dont' think i can do anything
RendLifeAsunder: well, you think wrong
RendLifeAsunder: :-P
Kwisty2k: thanks
Kwisty2k: i love the stuff you write...so coming from you thats so nice
RendLifeAsunder: thank you, and you deserve it
RendLifeAsunder: don't ever forget that
Kwisty2k: :-)
RendLifeAsunder: :-)
Kwisty2k: i need all the encouragement I can get
Kwisty2k: its tough to stay determined
RendLifeAsunder: i know that
Kwisty2k: i'm trying to keep something positive always happening in my life despite all the bleak things
RendLifeAsunder: at some point, everything you've been through is going to turn around, and i hope you have it the best you could hope
RendLifeAsunder: you'll blow up, become a famous writer, maybe a writer's writer
RendLifeAsunder: or song person
RendLifeAsunder: something, i like to think life pays you back for all it puts you through

”Life pays you back for all it puts you through.” Isn’t that a nice thought? The idea that for every pain you endure there will be another petal on the flower of life to enjoy?

Thanks for planting such a nice thought within me. :-)

Also wanted to share this story from last night.

Kwisty2k: my son....tonight
Kwisty2k: he took a bunch of paper
Kwisty2k: and stapled it in the middle
Kwisty2k: and made a paper book
RendLifeAsunder: :-)
Kwisty2k: and started to "write his own book"
RendLifeAsunder: awww
Kwisty2k: and i read it
Kwisty2k: three pages he has so far
RendLifeAsunder: thats awesome
Kwisty2k: he wrote
Kwisty2k: "don't let everyone make you something that you're not and if you don't I will still like you like you are"
RendLifeAsunder: :-D thats awesome
Kwisty2k: yeah no doubt
Kwisty2k: i was wiping tears
Kwisty2k: its called "why"
Kwisty2k: he has written
RendLifeAsunder: hes following after you
Kwisty2k: "WHY" By First/Last Name Illustrated by First/Last Name
Kwisty2k: on the front
Kwisty2k: how fucking cute is that?
RendLifeAsunder: :-)

"don't let everyone make you something that you're not and if you don't I will still like you like you are"- my son (the insightful child)

g’night
PoeticaL

Oh yeah tonight I wrote a lot. A special thanks to everyone who has encouraged me and cheered me on. I appreciate it immensely.

10:36 p.m. ::
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