cluttering the net since 2001

3 hour phone conversations

Tuesday, Jun. 25, 2002

I want my Internet back!  I want to be able to surf for hours and numb my mind.  When I don’t have the net at home, here’s what I do in no particular order.


  1. sleep
  2. read
  3. clean
  4. organize
  5. talk on my cell phone too much
  6. laundry
  7. dishes (I do 6 & 7 even when I have the net…I am just far more efficient when I don’t…)
  8. watch TV (this is desperation for me…the only show I really dig is “Cheaters”…I can relate to shows loosely based on my own life)
  9. chew too much SOBE power gum  (what’s in that stuff? It’s addicting!!)
  10. Organize and reorganize and struggle to organize my poetry (can someone please invent a software program for this?  Something that allows me to add a poem into a database that will date it and keep it in alphabetical order by title and then let me search for it via a thread of words…)


But tonight I’m supposed to have it back so I can catch up on all my daily reading requirements.  I’m so behind I’ll have hours of catch up to do.  Isn’t it a sick world when I have to catch up on nothing stuff that I do everyday?


I mostly miss amazon.com   I never realized how often I go there…til now.


The other thing that boggles my mind is that I can’t write much of anything without my pc working to it’s full capacity.


The only good thing about not having net service was that 3 hour phone conversation last night.  It’s so much nicer to talk and hear “him” breathing rather than seeing text fly up on my screen every time I assume his silence means he got wrapped up in something else. 


Last night he sang a song online like normal only this time he set his phone down on his desk and I heard him and it was just different than hearing it over my pc headset. 


Today I’m rambling on about nothing stuff. I’m in a great mood, cricked neck and all.  I’m just happy inside.  I don’t know how long it’ll last so I’m wearing bright colors, new shoes and happiness.  I know it’s goofy but it just matters to me that when we were talking about selfishness (cause some random girl online told him he was selfish because he wouldn’t sit and entertain her) I accused him of caring about no one but himself because he spends all of his time doing the following


  1. listening to self  help tapes about sales, etc,
  2. exercising on his two machines
  3. reading business books
  4. taking a business class online
  5. teaching his bird, Anthony to talk
  6. working
  7. working
  8. working
  9. various other things…..


all of which can be linked back to his interest in “self”.  When I said, “You’re as selfish as they come!” and then said, “what else do you care about that isn’t about you?” while laughing and teasing him.  He replied, “my mom...and…you”


I rank up there with the mom?  Woah.  She’s far up there.  If you only knew….


I dunno.  Sometimes I think he’s the most different person I’ve ever met.  Sometimes I wish I was more like him.  Other times I’m just glad that I am lucky enough to know him.


A man that calls you to leave a message like this…


“I want to let you know that I don’t have my cell phone for the next two days, I’m donating it to the girls at the office and they’re leaving my number as an emergency number…”


is a good guy.  I mean I spent 10 years trying to get that sort of consideration from a man.  It never happened.  When I got this message it brought a single tear to my eye.


So maybe I’m whacked out of my mind.  Maybe I’m lame for caring about something so small.  But I do.  It’s the small stuff in life..isn’t it?  Maybe I just have a smile on my face today and only I really know why.  He’s a secret that I never talk about ….’cept here.  This is my diary after all.


Ok…I think that’s enough!






12:29 p.m. ::
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