fuck mondays

It�s Monday morning, I have a pounding headache and all I really want to do is go back to bed. I miss �t� and just realized I haven�t heard from him since September 15th. That�s quite a long time. I don�t want to sit here and start to worry about him. He claims that if anything deathly were to happen to him that his friend was instructed to jot me an email. I haven�t heard anything, and isn�t it �no news is good news?� Isn�t that how that works?

I�m not sure if that�s ok, but it has to be ok. I just miss him and wonder how he can be fighting a cyber war and not have time to say �hey kristy I am alive� that�s 5 words. The longer that goes by the more I wonder. The only other reasonable explanations for his absence is that he was deported to Iraq or elsewhere and that would cause a silence of one month. I can only say that I hope to hear from him soon.

In other news, my pants are tight. All of my pants are tight. I am unmotivated to exercise and have been eating very poorly as of late. I am going to try to pound water and get motivated, but I just don�t give a rats ass about it all right now. Sad�really� all that work�.poof! I�m just glad that they are tight and still fit. My only concern right now about weight is that I have something to put on my body.

The house got cleaned pretty well this weekend and all the laundry is caught up. Now there are two things of major interest. Yeah right�.

Halloween is coming up, I wonder what �Bucky� wants to be this year. I have to put that on my list of things to do.

I suppose there are good things too. I got a new tire on my car. But I�m back to having $10 til payday, which is every Friday. Still no �emergency loan� check yet. Those people are nice enough to give him these things, but fuck you�d be half dead if it was really an emergency. I mean it was one last week, and then it waned and now it is one again. I just hope he gets it today or tomorrow so I can buy groceries. Yeah so how can I be gaining weight when there�s only a gallon of milk and half a loaf of bread here? Yeah I can�t figure it out either. I think it�s the constant laying in bed doing nothing, not wanting to get up�. Yeah that might be it.

Another day to get through�.that�s all this is. Have I gone to the doctor to get some happy pills? Well, right now with everything else going on it has taken a back burner. There are MRIs and spinal taps and blood work to be paid for.

I really wish I could go right back to bed. My head�s pounding and my eyes hurt and I have no coffee. :-( I really wish that �t� would come front. It might cheer me up for five minutes.

PoeticaL