PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

good question

Thursday, May. 16, 2002
I am beginning to think that the local Salvation Army shelf might look nice with my pc on it. Or at least I could buy myself a lot of nice coffees or books or some kewl toys for “Bucky” if I just broke my addiction to online friendship and quit paying for DSL. Hmm….

I never thought about what someone “gave” me vs what I did for them…until JEM asked me his question. David Banner had the right idea. Move in…piss everyone off, pack your backpack and get the fuck outta dodge. No attachments. Congratulations. You know how to cut me. You must have edward scissorhands.

~~~~~~

I wrote someone else a 935-word email recently and I got a 17 word reply back.

Hmm…does this mean I give more than I receive? Or does it mean I expect less than I give? Or do I just give too much? Or did JEM make me fucking paranoid. Fuck!!!

~~~~~~

Me: Josh?

JEM: yes?

Me: I don't like when we're like this...in fact it eats away at me.

Me: I'll break down and tell you cause I can't take it anymore

JEM: you already told me this . . .

Me: *sigh*

Me: *kicks the dirt in front of her*

JEM: i'm angry and bitter . . .

JEM: my world is cold and lonely . . .

Me: <---picks up her snoopy suitcase and walks down the road following David Banner....

JEM: the hulk?

Me: yes

Me: he needs a friend

JEM: the hulk lives in a cold and lonely world too . . .

Me: *shrugs* that doesn't matter to me

Me: he makes the best of his bad luck

JEM: the hulk died of cancer . . .

Me: <---*sobs*.

Me: "Now I have no friends"

JEM: i've noticed something . . . in this dealing . . . in a recent dealing with (girl he should forget about..her name was here) . .

Me: which is

JEM: and that is . . . everyone wants to put a spin on it . . .

JEM: everyone wants to get the last word . . .

Me: nah

Me: you can have the last word

JEM: create the common opinion . . .

Me: <-----writes "LAST WORD" on a piece of paper and hands it to Josh

JEM: i don't want it . . . and i'm tired of being mentioned in diaries . . .

JEM: like a diary entry can do me justice . . . sum me up . . . box me in . . .

Me: hmmm

Me: type something or you won't get the last word

JEM: i already said i didn't want it . . .

JEM:: what does this friendship do for you?

JEM: hahahahahahaha . . . oh god . . . fuck you

~~~~~~

good question… But I never think about what I am getting vs what I give. I give from my soul. If you don't like that gift....goodbye. Simple as that.

p.s. you're a diary entry! hahahahahahaha

8:18 p.m. ::
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