PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

i trust no one and that's that!

Monday, Jul. 29, 2002
To address the “t” issue that cropped up in my guestbook.

I did find out what he felt his problem was. He admitted it to me during an 8 hour conversation and all I have to say is, sometimes what people think they are bad for is something that someone else has always made them feel bad about and not something really worthy of feeling bad over. What is it? lol… I can’t tell you EVERYTHING! Email and I might explain myself to you “concerned friend”.

Incidentally, they don’t let felons into the military. He’s been in the military since he was 18, he’s 30. I would venture to guess that he’s not committed any crimes and remained in his current position with the military with a criminal record. As far as his sexual orientation, I personally don’t think any man would sit and skip out on working to chat to a girl if he’s really gay, especially sitting around in Afghanistan surrounded by “gays in the military”. But I will admit that anything in this world is possible because I never thought anyone would tell me “I’ll be right back as soon as I get some burgers for dinner.” And then split for 21 days.

“t” is serving over in Afghanistan voluntarily and will be over there for at least the next 6 months. He will not be leaving there before then no matter what happens in concern to the war. Therefore he’s there for that long and that’s a long time to talk to someone and really make a more accurate determination about a person.

As far as trust, I don’t trust anyone anymore. So for anyone to think that I blindly trust “t”. Forget that notion. I trust nothing and no one. Wait, I take that back…I for sure trust Mad. And I trust him because it’s been a very long time and he has earned my trust consistently.

I have absolutely no intentions on contacting Brad. Not now not ever. But I can guarantee you that there will come a day that he contacts me! I would like to believe that won’t happen, but every man I have ever been involved with in any way does this. The following is proof of just that.

For the last almost month, not really a word or a hello or a concern. A few disjointed chats about “call me back” and then 3 solid weeks of nothing. I wrote him off. Said he was gone.

From: Tim@aol.com
To: poeticalgirl@hotmail.com
Subject: Re:
Date: Mon, 29 Jul 2002 07:04:45 EDT

finally alive and kicking in savannah..886-###-####

Surely he’s joking right? Surely he doesn’t really want me to have his phone number? Whatever! Surely I am deleting this email phone number and all and that’s that. No explanation, just a phone number. Good lord. Yeah let me just run to a phone to call him. NOT!

See in all honesty I expect a lot from someone. I truly do. Because he told me he was in the middle of moving and needed time. And I said, “yeah ok”. And now he’s telling me he’s done needing time. And guess what. I don’t care now because you don’t do what he did. Split out. I don’t do well with “split out” fuckers.

So do you hear what I’m saying here? “t”’s got six months over there. That’s a long damn time. So far, he’s given me no reasons to distrust him. In fact, if you think about this. He’s the one that told me there were things he wanted to be upfront about. Child molesters don’t walk around saying “hey let me tell you about little Jimmy from the playground”.

Besides, I should know. I married a convict boy. And guess what. He never told me shit! I found out from some cop in Dallas when he held up his criminal record and started to read. Bad people don’t commit crimes then tell you about it. They LIE!!!!!!! I know firsthand.

By the way, what “t” thinks is a bad thing I actually think is quite sad, sad that he feels less than because of it. Don’tcha just hate when someone doesn’t reveal something in their diary? Yeah…it bites!!!!

-PoeticaL
9:20 a.m. ::
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