cluttering the net since 2001

just call...that's all !!!

Thursday, Jan. 17, 2002
Today is one of those days where I have diarrhea of the diary. Sick. And no ones here at work, meaning bosses. And is he calling me today to chitchat? Nope! Just my luck! Usually when he calls my boss is leaning over my desk talking to me about production or some such thing and I feel like a total slack ass for being on the phone for no other reason that that I want to be talking to him.

I think I am falling into some very sad state of depression or something. I am feeling the bitterness coursing through my veins. All the times asking myself “why is this all happening?” is getting to me. All the self-doubt is taking its toll. I wonder why I haven’t just submitted to a nervous breakdown. I wonder how fast I would get bored with rubber rooms. I wonder if a candy bar would fix this feeling.

Every phone call that I pick up..my heart jumps…and then it’s some dweeb asking for a stock check or something and I’m over it. Why is it when I want to hear his voice..when I need to, it doesn’t happen. Why is it when I simply start to “want” that I start to hurt?

I just told Delboy who came over to tell me there’s an LED in my calculator (brilliant deduction slick!) ..the following..

“Maybe tonight I’ll just tell “him” that its over, that it’s just all over. There problem solved!”

He said while rolling his eyes, “why would you want to do that?”

To which I replied, “Problem solved.”


“It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.”

I could leave but I won't go
It'd be easier I know
I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes
But why does it always seem to be
Me looking at you, you looking at me
S'always the same, just a shame, that's all

Truth is I love you
More than I wanted to
There's no point in trying to pretend
There's been no-one who
Makes me feel like you do

hang on for the ride, I think it’s going to get stranger sooner than later
3:23 p.m. ::
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