cluttering the net since 2001

multiple choice

Monday, Dec. 23, 2002
Yeah so its 5 a.m. and Iíve been up all night watching videos on the net. Mostly country, but some alternative and then I did a few rap songs because I am diverse and unique and I like everything because life is about licking every flavor there is to offer. In a ice cream shoppe of 32 flavors why order vanilla every time? Just because its good and you know you like it? Isnít there much in life to like? To try? To taste?

In a world of rainbows I want to draw my every picture with every color the world has to offer. The only picture Iíd ever make that was all black, your favorite color, is a picture of the sky at 2 a.m. on a September night when the leaves are just changing their hue. Then I would draw everything black and be happy just to count insults along with all the differences between me and you. The moon would be black and the shadow would blend into the black sky and your words would be dark but your eyes, I think they will always be perfect no matter the crayon I use.

I want you to know that doing nothing with you is better than doing everything with everyone else Iíve ever known. Sometimes I know the differences are so large its like trying to save ice cubes in the middle of a field in July. But then there is this place I have only found with you, where every word comes easy and then it is exactly like watching a sunset and not needing to worry about what comes next.

And maybe this should have been a nice email, and maybe sometimes I donít know if itís ok for me to say these things just because they are what I think. Sometimes itís too much to think these things and I just smile and walk away. Other times I want to get them out so that if I ever lost your friendship, I could go back somewhere and know that you were always very real.

Tonight I chose a techno song, a rap song, a slow song, a long song, a country sad song, and then I listened to you sing and that was the only song I played again. If every choice was multiple and I could pick only one, Iíd have a hard time knowing what to keep and give away, unless I was choosing friends. That would be easy, the longer I know you, I know Iíve only ever really had one.


5:42 a.m. ::
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