PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

rocks in ponds

Sunday, Jun. 27, 2004
I’m posting my recent chat with “him” because he and I still hook up and chat about once every two months and it’s odd because we pick up where we left off and I suppose it was all those years of wasting time chatting. He’s running into the same problem with his fiancé that he used to bitch at me about…all that schedule shit. I changed his girlfriend’s name to “girlfriend” to protect the innocent. :-)

“him”: whats going on?

Kwisty2k: a big fat nothing

“him”: with you i find that hard to believe

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: sowwy

Kwisty2k: but it's true

“him”: i had to set “girlfriend” straight last night

Kwisty2k: awww i feel her pain....a big speech eh?

Kwisty2k: big speeches from brad suckie

“him”: friday i took her to hollywood east cinema grill

“him”: saturday i took her to a japanese joint

“him”: Hiros or something

“him”: and after the meal we went to carolina beach and watched dodge ball

“him”: then came home when it was dark

Kwisty2k: ok..and?

“him”: we come home i told her i was going to get some work done

Kwisty2k: ut oh...she wanted your "TIME"

Kwisty2k: <----*covers her eyes...can't hardly read this now*

“him”: and bam not even 4 min of sitting down shes asking me all sorts of stupid questions

“him”: and her and i talked before when im at my computer working leave me be if im on the guitar singing dont bother me give me room to breathe

Kwisty2k: <---pulls out her longest most complicated novel...hands it to “girlfriend”..."here...keep yourself busy"

“him”: shell even go online with her laptop so she can pm me when im at the computer

Kwisty2k: hahahaha

Kwisty2k: now that's ingenious

“him”: i cant get anything done

Kwisty2k: >:o

“him”: i work on my site plus i belong to all these disability groups ive been pulling customers from and stuff

“him”: i have to be able to do my work

Kwisty2k: <---knows allllllllll about it

Kwisty2k: <----got new hobbie crocheting blankets for all the homeless people in New York to allow Brad time to work

“him”: thats not right

“him”: i do alot for her

Kwisty2k: i agree

Kwisty2k: i double agree on the later statement

“him”: even pay her wages

Kwisty2k: teeheee...

Kwisty2k: so did you get it all straightened out?

“him”: i have now 41 vending machines on location

Kwisty2k: yipes..that's a lot of M&M's

“him”: well its a variety of products at different sites

“him”: gum, hot tomales, peanuts whatever

Kwisty2k: do you have Spree?

Kwisty2k: I love Spree

“him”: nope those dont sell

Kwisty2k: really? stupid vendor customers! geesh!

“him”: they are like runts.....exinct

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: extinct

“him”: yeah

Kwisty2k: ok so did you give her the "schedule" speech?

“him”: a what

Kwisty2k: your infamous speech about disrupting your "schedule"

“him”: no i gave her the facts

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: LMFAO the facts

Kwisty2k: Brad Facts 101

“him”: the fact is yes i sleep here i eat her i also work here

“him”: thats the facts

“him”: the other day she was going through all her clothes

“him”: and constantly asking me if she should keep or toss them out

“him”: what girl does that shit

“him”: every girl i know can make up their own mind about their clothes

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: now this is funny

“him”: i told her you are talking to a guy who wears 90% black what the hell do i know about pink or yellow

Kwisty2k: this is not about her ability not to decipher for herself but her need to get your attention by any means

“him”: well im sorry but she seems to seek my approval for everything

Kwisty2k: maybe the problem is you're around each other too many hours of the day...were things better when she left the house to work?

“him”: and that shouldnt be

Kwisty2k: yah really she should wear what she fucking wants to wear..who cares what the fuck you think!

“him”: thats right

Kwisty2k: she's not a brad pawn

Kwisty2k: she's “girlfriend”

“him”: after i pulled her from her job she says good i can wear my nice clothes now

“him”: i said great wear what you like

Kwisty2k: you don't want my opinion on all of this

“him”: sure you cant help y0urself

Kwisty2k: lol

“him”: i know your not going to sit there and be all quiet

“him”: fuck that

Kwisty2k: well.....I think she's still not sure of who she is as a person....

Kwisty2k: where she fits

“him”: true

“him”: her self confidence seems low

“him”: but her job treated her like shit for 3 years

Kwisty2k: so ....because you're there....and she's searching...she's looking for you to guide her because it's always easier to be what someone else wants us to be than to figure out who the fuck we are all by ourselves

“him”: yeah but im a one man boat i float alone

Kwisty2k: surely she sees that you have confidence and that you have your shit together so she figures you're not going to steer her wrong....

Kwisty2k: so she's wanting to hand you her steering wheel and let you make her

Kwisty2k: my honest opinion..she needs to figure out who she is and what she wants

“him”: she knows what she wants

Kwisty2k: its great that she was able to quit a job she's hated for 3 years because you were willing to replace that income elsewhere but did she wake up one day saying "hmm I'm gonna be a bubblegum machine vendor"

“him”: its her confidence level thats low

Kwisty2k: sure ..sure she does brad...she doesn't even know what clothes she wants in her closet

“him”: she really likes the vending bus

“him”: i have to say

Kwisty2k: so is it just that she expects you to entertain her daily?

“him”: she placed 14 plus machines by herself just using my script

“him”: she says time and time again i love this job

Kwisty2k: my advice.....when she pm's you when you're working put an away msg that says "scram!" teeheeee

“him”: thats why i bought so many because i knew she could place them and she did

“him”: yeah but she was starting to cross the line

“him”: like friday night i was up late working

“him”: she went to bed around 11

“him”: saturday morning she gets up takes a shower and comes out and says i think you need to get up you slept long enough

“him”: i said whatever and rolled back over

“him”: but again last night

“him”: i was working

“him”: and she hollars from the other room

“him”: why dont you watch that other movie you rented

“him”: and that was it

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: I'm rolling over here

“him”: i said where do you get off teling me what to do

Kwisty2k: this is great

“him”: i said you cant even decided what clothes you like when did you become my boss if i want a fucken boss ill go get a job

Kwisty2k: ewwww harsh

“him”: i said ill sleep as long a i fucken want too ill stay up and go to bed when i feel damn good and ready

“him”: and when im working dont bother me

Kwisty2k: ouch

Kwisty2k: did she cry ?

“him”: i hollared i was pissed

“him”: yep she did

Kwisty2k: i called it

Kwisty2k: those are girl tear making words

“him”: i treated her to a nice weekend

“him”: and it still wasnt enough

Kwisty2k: argh

Kwisty2k: no one takes me out

“him”: we went to Hiros ever been there

Kwisty2k: i'd be like so happy i'd be scrubbing their tire's while they were working

Kwisty2k: never heard of Hiro's

“him”: japanese rest.

“him”: they cook your food in front of you

Kwisty2k: oh we have one of those

“him”: and put on a fancy show with knifes and shit

Kwisty2k: yah

Kwisty2k: i like those places

“him”: and our guy was not only good at it but he was a jokester

“him”: i had fun

“him”: its not cheap

“him”: but its fun and she bugged me to take her there

Kwisty2k: never happy

“him”: i know

“him”: i dont get it

“him”: i dont ask much of her

Kwisty2k: ugh i hate chics like that

Kwisty2k: ugh ugh you're making me ill

“him”: we were going to see the movie 911

“him”: but the waiting line was longer than the fucken street

“him”: we both said another time

Kwisty2k: she needs a hobby

“him”: but dodge ball movie in carolina beach was funny

“him”: i have her enlisted with online school program

“him”: to finish her teaching cert.

“him”: plus the vending

“him”: and now ihave her cleaning the house

“him”: i was going to have her mow the grass

“him”: but instead i had my neighbor do it

“him”: while i exercised

Kwisty2k: lol....just now you have her cleaning the house?

“him”: yes

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: you tyrant

“him”: no way

Kwisty2k: here's exactly what I see

“him”: this place is easy to clean and isnt even dirty

Kwisty2k: now don't get pissed because this is just facts no emotion

“him”: i wont

Kwisty2k: girl has crap job taking care of brat kids ...job on side cleaning other people's dirt.... she wasnt' exactly doing stupendously prior to meeting you

“him”: no

“him”: she has a history degree too from uncw

“him”: same place i graduated

Kwisty2k: you help her.....she's able to quit a miserable job...you take her out..buy her flowers...treat her nice...listen to her shit....(all girls have shit they ramble on and on about...not just me..lol)...you provide her a nice place to live..no more double upping with other freako'zoids in a crap place......and all you want from her is a little respect and alone time to get your work done that PROVIDES HER ALL THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKK i'm getting angry

“him”: wow that sums it up in a nut bag

Kwisty2k: I learned. I eventually figured shit out. And guess what....you didn't do shit like that for my ass

Kwisty2k: is she really that selfish?

“him”: believe it or not she is

Kwisty2k: <---slams head on desktop

“him”: ouch

Kwisty2k: <---start singing in smart ass way "going to the chapel and we're gonnaaa get marrrrrieddd"

“him”: lol

Kwisty2k: all of this makes me want to say the word "FUCK"

Kwisty2k: a lot

“him”: girls are the same

Kwisty2k: ok that did it

Kwisty2k: FUCK FUCK FUCK

“him”: they want you to constantly hold their pussy

Kwisty2k: ouch

Kwisty2k: now that .........FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

“him”: look at you

Kwisty2k: ok so if she has a degree why the fuck didn't she take something sensible that she could do something with?

“him”: how many nights did you keep me up till morning hours when i had tests that morning

Kwisty2k: me? i never did any such thing

“him”: history degree is pretty much worthless this day and age

Kwisty2k: and besides....you weren't paying mY FUCKING BILLS

“him”: and how many times you did that to me

“him”: so what

“him”: you were my friend

“him”: i listen to your problems bilions of times

“him”: enough to cover the national debt

Kwisty2k: tons of times but guess what i wasn't right there in your house fucking you nightly and getting paid for it...not to mention the knife throwing display of a dinner!!!!!!!!!

Kwisty2k: you never bought me dinner

“him”: i bought you things

“him”: who wanted the mp3 player

Kwisty2k: and just HOW many months of my life did I waste listening to catheter talk?

“him”: all you had to do is say hey change the subject

Kwisty2k: the other day some old lady told me she had a foley catheter...and I automatically wanted to say "is that super pubic or normal or am I thinking of another brand?"

“him”: nope its not a super pub

“him”: its an indwelling

Kwisty2k: i just sat there...like "fuck a duck I'm not supposed to know that shit in my job"

“him”: with a catch bag

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: see?

Kwisty2k: i'm educated even when I don 't try to be

“him”: what you brought it up

Kwisty2k: lol i know

“him”: you were wrong

“him”: thats not super pub

Kwisty2k: listen...i thinks she's being selfish...that's all

“him”: super pub is like a texas cath

“him”: external

“him”: i hope what you learned has helped you and you use it to your advantage

“him”: i still learn things from myself

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: i've noticed that what I learned from you gains tons of brownie points with guys

Kwisty2k: and if I approach those things myself they're surprised....they're all so used to bitches trying to own em and control them

“him”: i created a player

Kwisty2k: lol nope

Kwisty2k: its common sense really

Kwisty2k: and if you treat someone that way they treat you better

“him”: action reaction yes

Kwisty2k: i've figured out that i need someone that can understand this shit

“him”: well you have to start with 2 people sorta on the same level

Kwisty2k: that can get it...that is on the same page when it comes to communication

“him”: pigs cant communicate to horses

Kwisty2k: yesterday i was describing to bryan the way my ex and I would try to talk to each other and he'd stand there and just look at me and that'd make me more frustrated and things would get out of control...he said "yah my ex wife was like that..just stand there and not get into the conversation" He asked me then if i thought my ex's new wife was bothered by his inability to discuss things.. I said, "probably not..she just wants someone who makes more than $9/hr like her exhusband so she can go to dinner and shit...she probably doesn't give a rats ass that they don't talk"

“him”: right

Kwisty2k: for someone else that's fine...to not have a relationship based on communication...but for me...fuck that

Kwisty2k: all the money in the world is not going to make me happy if I don't "know" who I'm with

“him”: it makes it tough

Kwisty2k: so.....”girlfriend”'s deal..i know it's hard...it's hard to grasp that you want something from someone..like their attention but you have to learn to have patience and it will come to you in time....and that it's a "give" not just a "take" thing.... hopefully things will come to her and it won't take too much time

“him”: shes not a bad person

“him”: she does think of herself alot

Kwisty2k: sometimes you find someone that you relate to and it feels awesome and you want to be all entrenched in it all the time..... it's hard to realize that it's not going to go away unless you abuse it and take advantage of it.....it's like candy..when you're a kid you want to eat it all..when you're an adult you know you can enjoy some today and save some for tomorrow

“him”: if i had my way i would prefer to not be the one who always makes decisions about everything if you can believe that or not its true

Kwisty2k: i think you would never give up full control of your life to someone else's decisions but i think what you mean is that you want someone elses input about things..some help..not just someone leaning on you

“him”: exactly

Kwisty2k: i think from what you've said she's leaning..heavily

“him”: yeah quite a bit

Kwisty2k: it's causing you to pull away and start to protect your time and your efforts that much more than you would normally

Kwisty2k: there's nothing wrong with wanting someone to give back to you....to be your equal

“him”: thats all i ask

Kwisty2k: it's all so damn hard in realtiy though...i know this..i can put it all into words here....so easy...it's harder when there are emotions

“him”: she has some growing up to do yet

Kwisty2k: i don't think she's bad nor do I think badly of her..hell i did that same shit....i still remind myself all the time....i have to think not only of what i want and how i'm getting there but the people i care about and where they are...

“him”: it doesnt mean she wont get there but at my age i have goals and like i told her last night nobody and nothing is going to prevent or hinder me from reaching them

“him”: thats right i was your virtual full time leaning post too

“him”: for a long friggen time

Kwisty2k: i read one time in a book.. "in every relationship there is a love bank..make deposits of kindness and you're bank will never go bankrupt...don't look at the register to concern yourself when your partner last made a deposit..only worry about the fact that you are making regular deposits"

“him”: very cute

“him”: thats a kewl way to see it

Kwisty2k: yah yah ok you were my virtual full time leaning post and i will tell anyone that was wrong of me...i did the wrong things....i regret things..i can't change those things....i feel bad about those things...sometimes they still bug me ....however, you allowed me to do that. You are somewhat responsible too.

“him”: Yes i am

Kwisty2k: just like it's not entirely assholes fault that he treated me like shit..in fact alot of it is my fault because I simply LET HIM

“him”: yeah during that time you were an emotional disaster area

Kwisty2k: i don't think i'd be here ..nor would i have anything in my head so together if not for you....and for my friendship with bryan...but more..you...he woulda never had that level of patience

“him”: that was alot of patience and hours and hours of being online and on the phone of all hours of the day and night

Kwisty2k: people find themselves with needs and instead of fulfilling them their selves they seek someone else to feed their hunger

Kwisty2k: yes it was brad

Kwisty2k: here's my honest opinion of all of it

“him”: and i wont hide the fact that im glad its over

Kwisty2k: i cared about you..i cared about what you were doing...i was rooting for you....and i needed you...too much and too wrong....but i did...i needed someone normal to keep me from drowning and never getting out of that water

Kwisty2k: i can't pay back your time...and i hope she doesn't make that same mistake over and over

“him”: you needed to learn that you can do things on your own and you dont need anyone if your with them its because you want to be not because you have to be

Kwisty2k: i'm still working some of those things out....but now they are financial things from the aftermath of too many years of marriage to the wrong dude. Sometimes I think I know what I want and that’s b.f., and other times we just can’t get it all right and we fight and bicker about everything

“him”: i bet you still carry alot of shit in your head probably is the reason why someone has to earn the right without you just giving it to him

Kwisty2k: but believe me NO ONE tells me how things are going to be...b.f. and I would get along famously if he had met me ten years ago

Kwisty2k: he's not earning anything

“him”: yeah he is

Kwisty2k: there's just a lot to be sure of and work out

“him”: same thing

“him”: you can drown in your own negativity

“him”: or you can swim in prosperity

“him”: i chose to swim

“him”: i told you im going to ND

Kwisty2k: yup

Kwisty2k: you did

“him”: July 2-6th

“him”: thats this coming friday

Kwisty2k: make sure you have fun

“him”: oh i plan on it

Kwisty2k: good

Kwisty2k: how's your mom?

“him”: we have an awesome parade in mandan all my friends, clubs

“him”: my mom is busy

“him”: she babysits 10 kids

Kwisty2k: ouch

Kwisty2k: brats R us

“him”: she likes it

“him”: and it makes her extra money

Kwisty2k: yah i can imagine

“him”: she only charges 2-3 dollars an hour or 25 over nite

“him”: but alot of people come to her

Kwisty2k: yah it's affordable

“him”: and she has a good rep for taking care of brats

Kwisty2k: lol

Kwisty2k: so she has a good brat trap?

“him”: yeah

“him”: yeah im hungry im going to eat

Kwisty2k: ok later

“him”: bye

Kwisty2k: oh wait

“him”: what

Kwisty2k: don't let her throw rocks in your pond

Kwisty2k: protect the pond...protect the pond

Kwisty2k: lol

“him”: i will

Kwisty2k: bye

“him”: bye

3:23 p.m. ::
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