cluttering the net since 2001

this time (poem)

Saturday, Apr. 27, 2002
This time

2 a.m phone calls me
pain from distant lands
lands I wanted to travel
suit caseless or naked
ached to be that girl
touching nothing less
than everything
my mind has kissed

Orbiting around your pain
Iím a smile trying to
Paint something
For you to catch in your
But why net
And all I think is
But had we met
This wouldnít have
Happened and yet

Here it is
She hurt you
And you are blue
And what do you do?
You reach to me
Across the sea of footprint less
And I am nothing but
A grain that fell right
Through your hand

Pushing thoughts like these
Past my heart
Now Iím sunk
Rubbing at bumpy knees
Wondering if the first bruise
Could understand my newest

Why I swallowed hard
And listened soft
About the ways you love
But not a lot
And how you wish
That she would dismiss he
To be the one that could
Give so free
Iím intent
Sliding down Iím bent
Wiping my own tears
Crying for you
While whispering silent cheers
Perfection wasnít erected perfected
At 3 a.m.

Why isnít my pain old
Paying the cost
For happiness
After all Iíve lost?

Why does it bleed
More to hear you cry to me
About someone you love
Instead of our own history?
And why did I hurl from
My warm bed
And listen to you cry
Within someone else
I only dread

And why at 3 a.m.
Do I rhyme like a child
Intimately void of wild
And wonder why I always just
Before I weep the tears
Wicked last drop?

Iím trapped in white glowÖ
Sometimes you seem so close
I feel your eyes
Looking through me
And those flowered irises
Have escaped me

I could sit here
Finding words
To fill foreverís time
I could go on forever
With simplistic rhyme

But Iíve had enough

and then the memories
come rushing back
the times you wiped my tears
a gift from someone else
and helped me cope
that was something you gave well

I want to be the friend
this time
Fuck this...where this was
going rhyme
3:21 a.m. ::
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