gone & sometimes (poems)`

A few months ago I talked about my online pal who writes screenplays.

Tonight he posted this news clip on his website. I'm very happy for him. He's worked hard. This is his second movie he's independently filming. It's called Two Days with Juliet. I've read the screenplay script. It's great.

gone gone gone you been gone so long,
you been gone gone gone so long

i know you no longer listen
you no longer come around
i peek at you from the corners
places where you think you are hiding
but you seek only places
sad and lonely aces
but you see i still feel you because you go
where I know you can still be found

you were something i called by 'forever'
but never forever good, my anything
you just meshed with something
then happened upon my one
true
thing

I suppose I thought right when my friend
you were most times right where you should
and I can't believe you never cared
even if it's truth, sometimes I still believe
if only, if only if

if
if only if I could....

you were karma paired with good
and I remember you that way
you said you'd always come front
but that wasn't what I felt today
i crawled inside a dirty phone booth
your number wasn't there
along the wall of doubt
I pretended you would call
for me, because I lied about
how you truly cared
and then enraged by
little, the dumb girls vanity
being my very own
I let my tears run away
I didn't even grab for them
just...
i just let them move away in anger
when I realized you were
never coming back home

i turned my back upon those thoughts
they would be the left ones
not i said me
against myself
and then we sat alone
as together as we could

they packed up all my
belongings
my tears
grew hands made out of grief
not alone
were they
as two by two
they would abandon me
just like autumn drops
every deadly leaf


sometimes....

sometimes i see a bb bullet
in the cracks of days gone by
sometimes I smell the echo
of a train track
and the neigh of a horses sigh
sometimes i hear someone crying
and then i remember all the
whens
the when you and i grow together
we shall break apart again
when you and i mend forever
i will be whole
and only then
sometimes i will lie to myself
and place the same mask
upon my face
sometimes i remember how
you could fake the truth
and lead me on a chase
sometimes i can smell your hair
in the summer rain
sometimes i remember you
and can't tell my december
to forget again

sometimes i am a soilder
and you are my parade
sometimes i am together
but most times
its a lie
and love's veil is my charade
even though new
petals grow
and new flowers do emerge
sometimes i just want to cry
sometimes i can only try
but they never take me back
i'm still now
and you abandoned me
i ache for you, not a mortal one
i just sometimes miss you with
all my heart

where are you?
my little memory
where are you hiding now
I want you back sometimes
just sometimes

my little then

-PoeticaL

I just started to write and the past and the present and the now and all things just mixed. There isn't a who or a what...it's just all of it surfacing and it really means nothing in the end. There's bits of my mother, bits of my first apartment, my first month of marriage, my toddler's first big boy room..it's all there...past....the past haunts me sometimes when I have too much time to think.... I can't wait for Rick to come home tonight...I need a hug and a kiss and some cuddling.