i'll be a whore but i'm no heroine

I asked for it! ;-)

Besides, I met someone I found to be interesting. I was at the very beginnings of speaking to him. That�s it. I never said I loved him. Or that I was going to marry him. And yeah I posted poetry. I write poetry about all sorts of people and things going on. Assumption about other people drives me friggin nutso.

Good grief people. And as for you Jess.. I don�t mind your opinions but I do mind you�re silent stalking and the fact that you are not forthright about where your very own diary is. I tend to believe it�s because you�re ashamed of your own life and make �Jess� feel better by ripping me apart. Lets talk about lost children. I might have tons of issues, but I have my son too! *low blow* yup!

Lastly, yes I talk to people online. If you�re here reading my diary then you also chat to people or you wouldn�t care about reading about someone else�s life right? If you leave guestbook entries then you chat. If you said a comment to me, then you chat. Hypocritical masses�.raid my book. You bastages can do better than that.

As for �t� I was at the beginning of speaking to him and caught myself wanting to care about someone new. And I posted my invite for opinions because I know I have this attachment problem. And guess what, I knew that before you guys told me. I knew it and was digesting it all and deciding for myself what and how to deal with old habits and behaviors.

Try having no one in your �real� life to ever talk to. Try it then come talk to me�wait don�t come talk to me because that�s against the law. You can�t chat. It�s against the law. Oh and since you can�t do that you can quit reading this now too.

�t� is a nice guy. I don�t care what anyone else says. But this also doesn�t mean that I�m foolish and am not aware of the entire situation either. I like him. Most likely I�ll continue to talk to him with the knowledge that he�s always going to be somewhere else in this world. And that�s fine too. Mad�s my best friend ever and he�s somewhere else too. BraN�s a very close friend of mine too, guess what�somewhere else. I would rather have these friends than the no one I would otherwise have. Try having 21 addresses in 11 years, missing family, no real connections, try it all then tell me not to form friendships somewhere.

As for this comment�.

�You know what this is the diary of an internet ho. Run run before she says she loves you too.�

phhhft. I don�t love anyone but �Bucky�. I care for my friends. Love is a mighty big word for a little emotional girl such as I. I love chocolate chip cookies and along with those I love my friends. But love as in being �in� love. Nope. Nowhere. If I was I wouldn�t be on here whining and suffering through my life everyday. Get a grip.

If caring for other people makes me a whore then shove the lamp post up my ass and give me some black fishnet stockings and some cheap perfume because if you truly know me you�ll know I�m the best friend you will ever have. If I tell you that I love you (in the chocolate chip kinda way) and care for you, it�s not just words. It�s not just pretty poems all lined up like soldiers. I have always been the better friend in most of my friendships because I value them greatly. So finally I have a few friends that care about me enough to call me up and tell me when I�m sad that it�ll be ok. My friends are keeping me sane and positive.

I never come here and write because I want you to like me so if you don�t and something I do or say bothers you then there�s the door. Beat it. I never asked you to come. And incidentally don�t tell me I know who you are when you�re too ball less to sign your own name. Coward loser. And if any of this ever has anything to do with glenn5, all I can say is the man jumped a plane cause I was something to him you never were. �A friend.� After all I didn�t pay for the ticket, nor did I ask him to.

As for �t�. That�s up to me in the end. I like �t� and as long as �t� is a positive influence on my life, then �t� and I shall friendly be!

You aren't fucked up. You just want to be wanted... But just being wanted isn't enough in the long run, is it?

No it isn�t. It isn�t enough. Sometimes nothing is enough.

-PoeticaL

You see in all my life I've never found
What I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew
But I can't walk away from you

-Garth Brooks

i'm no heroine
at least, not last time i checked
i'm too easy to roll over
i'm too easy to wreck
i just write about
what i should have done

-Ani Difranco