PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

seam this

Monday, Nov. 01, 2004
I have one relative that I absolutely adore and love to death. Yah, you got it. One and only one. She’s my fathers sister and my Aunt DeDe. No her name is not DeDe but that’s what we’ve always called her. Her name is actually Giselle. Yah Giselle. She’s my absolute favorite Aunt/relative ever. I’ve always loved her. Why? Because she was the sort of mother to my first cousins Wendy, Amy and Carrie that I wish my own mother had been to me. She makes great chicken, took me camping one year where I met my first boyfriend Frank…(god how I puppy adored that first love), she made me teddy bears, pillows and all sorts of clothes for Christmas, birthdays etc. She has a country style house will all sorts of antiques and I’ll never forget that pincushion she always had on her sewing table. It was to die for just because she’s the only person I know that really used one.

Anyways….she’s always been there for me. I’ve cried my eyes out to her on several occasions. Mostly on Mother’s Day, my pain on that day was a pain that she knew and understood well because my Grandmother (her mother) on my father’s side has schizophrenia. This is a fact I have never talked about here. But my Aunt understands living your adult life with no parents, no mother. She’s cried her bucket full of tears every Mother’s Day too. When my mother first kicked me out it was my Aunt DeDe who hugged me and loved me unconditionally. Back in April she spoke at great length to Po Bronson on my behalf about my deceased father and my estranged relationship with my own Mother. Because of my affiliation with Po Bronson and decision to be included in his next novel and his subsequent conversations with the people in my life, I learned a great deal from my Aunt about my childhood years for which I was too young to possibly have any memory. I learned a great deal because of his probing questions. His questions brought a lot of formerly untalked about things to the surface and I am a better person for it. These things mostly came from my Aunt who was given a way in which to release the information indirectly. Mind you, she never hid anything from me, I think it was more that she didn’t know what I knew about and what I didn’t know about.

When I was a child I grew up with my frist cousins and plenty of happy memories surround my Aunt DeDe and her husband, my Uncle. It was my Uncle who called me at 2 a.m. that night to inform me of my fathers passing because my Aunt herself could not bring herself to deliver such painful news to me. It was her who hung onto his house keys and defended my right with my brother and sister to be present before we all went into his home. She made them wait the 18 hrs it took me to drive back home in a hurry. It was her arms that I fell into sobbing when I walked out of my father’s house. It was her who understood my grief. Her and only her.

There is a bond that is unimaginable and no words could express. She is family to me…in my heart she is my ONLY family worth truly mentioning.

Today I spoke to her about my further wedding plans. I told her about the upcoming nuptials almost first. I proposed, got a yes answer, told my son and then called my Aunt. Today I called her to chat about my plans. She asked me about my wedding dress. I explained what I was looking for. She stated that if I got a picture of the dress and my measurements that she (a professional seamstress for 25+ years) would make my dress for me. When I was a little girl my Aunt worked for a Bridal store making dresses and altering dresses for a living. She’s made hundreds of dresses and altered probably half a million or more. She absolutely knows what she is doing.

This is by no means a move on my part or her part to “save money”, but rather I feel she offered because of love and only love and I will accept because I can think of no better honor than to walk down the beach wearing a wedding dress handcrafted by my only true family. Annnd I can practically tell her exactly what I want and it will be a one of a kind dress.

In addition, I have decided to have my son walk me down the isle and “give me away”, because he’s the only person who has to now share my heart. We will light three candles on the beach that day. One to honor each of my fiancés deceased parents and one to honor my deceased father.

My Aunt is going to make my wedding dress. This is an amazingly happy and joyful moment for me….

-PoeticaL
1:29 p.m. ::
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