cluttering the net since 2001

sleep....i just wanna go back to sleep

Tuesday, Oct. 12, 2004

So this morning I’m up at the crack of assdawn.  It’s still so early and my head hurts, my back hurts, my arms hurt.  Fuck even my face hurts.  (yah yah save the jokes…)  The man stayed overnight last night and for some odd reason I just couldn’t relax into the mattress.  I kept having visions of not waking up in time so that he could make it to work at the assdawn time he has to be there.  So I tossed and turned and saw the red glare of every hour on the clock last night.  I did sleep but it was just not fitfully.  Plus Chloe was all over the place like a rabbit on crack, she was driving me nuts.  But I’m happy to say that R slept like a baby, I listened to his breathing all night. 



I actually crawled out of bed this morning and wore my tinkerbell jammies outside with hair all askew to drive him over to his brother’s house.  I was barely awake and driving.  Then came back home and jumped in the shower and was feeling ok and then I stopped and now I feel like the scum that hangs onto the side of the bathtub after a bubble bath.  I just can’t wake up for shit today.  If you haven’t noticed I tend to curse a lot when I’m fucking tired.   


Yesterday I spoke to my ex-husband and he mentioned that my son is all jacked up excited about my upcoming marriage and went home the previous night talking about dresses and honeymoons and how he wanted to go with R and I.  My ex then goes into this big spiel about how we should go on a cruise for our honeymoon.  For two minutes there I thought to myself “cheese and rice is my EX FUCKING HUSBAND actually advising me on where to go on my future HONEYMOON?”  Talk about weird.  I mentioned it to R and he said he’d love to sit down and talk to him.  Ha….he thinks.  But it wouldn’t bother me.  I’d hand R some Tylenol and walk away.  However, I will say I actually spoke to ex for a half hour on the phone and it wasn’t all bad.  When we stick to talking about the Buckster we do ok with each other.  As soon as he moved onto my private life and my FUCKING honeymoon with the man I love….it was time to HANG UP.   


I always think I could use a week off and then I have a few days off and relax and then as soon as I’m one day back into this madness of my working schedule I’m just as exhausted as I was two days ago.  There is no catching up when you’re on a treadmill.  I’d kill to just go back to bed right now and sleep all day.


Pillow conversation from last night:


Me : “Honey I feel closer to you now than I ever have before, it feels nice…”


Him: “I’ve always felt really close to you.”


:-)  Did someone tell him the perfect response or what??? 




P.S. Kristal signed my guestbook…*PoeticaL jumps up on her computer desk and does the happy dance*  Kristal is the queen of the Mommyworld…you just don’t know….she rocks pink blue annnnd green socks!!!

6:02 a.m. ::
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